Sawasdee, Thailand.

Spent 6 days in Thailand about a month ago. A couple of photos on my first day in Bangkok and my first day in Chiang Mai.

Stayed at the Rimping Village in Chiang Mai.

Iced Thai Tea! Favorite!

It's called a WISH list for a reason.

15 things you can get me in the next 15 days before Christmas Eve! Don't judge me.

1. Comme Des Garcon Wallet

Super Fluo Red

Super Fluo Blue

2. Nixon Watch

Nixon Spencer - Matte Black/Gold

Nixon Rerun - Gold

Nixon Time Teller Acetate - Royal Granite

3. Louis Vuitton Monogram Empreinte Secret Compact - Flamme

It's actually more plum in color up front. It's beautiful!

4. Tory Burch Reva Flats

To tell you the truth, even after everyone has gotten a pair, I'm still craving for my own. Personally, its classy, and much more practical than Ferragamos. 

Fresh Tan

5. A new blackberry.

If you've seen the one I have now, it'll bring you to tears! The side buttons look like they've been chewed on by rats.

Curve 9360

Bold Bellagio 9790

6. iTouch (white)

For a while, I was contemplating whether or not I should get an iPhone 4S or a Blackberry. But since social services for Blackberry is really cheap, I thought, why not get an iTouch AND a Blackberry. Parents, you know how much I want them!

7. Ray Ban Aviators

62 Black

8. LaCie Rikiki USB 3.0 1TB

Not even a year old, my Macbook has 28GB of memory left. It's been abused with too much downloaded crap + softwares I need for my majors. I initially wanted a LaCie Rugged hard drive but the USB 3.0 compatible is in orange, which is one of my hatest colors.

9. Miniature Schnauzer Liver-Parti

I swear to god I will clean my room if someone gets me this dog. I'll make as much space as I can so he (yes, it has to be a boy. neutered!) can run around my room. Ahh gorgeous baby :( I'll name it Chewbacca, nickname Chewie. Oh, no. I'm buggin out as I type this. aKLsjdklasjdklas CUTE

10. T. LeClerc make-up

I'm very picky with my powder, and T. LeClerc is a choice brand. After playing around with different brands in the past, my grandmother gave me a Loose Powder Travel Box, my first taste of T. LeClerc. Instantly fell in love. Now my travel box is emptying fast so I really need another one.

Chair Ambrée Loose Powder

Amande Poudré Powdery Compact Foundation

11. Guerlain Meteorite Perles de Nuit

12. YSL Rogue Pure Shine in Pink Sorbet

13. Anna Sui Secret Wish Magic Romance

14. Bally Cross Body Ellie

I've been a Bally fan for quite sometime now. My favorite Bally cross body bag is far from retirement despite being more than 2 decades old, its still in good shape. I don't know what its called but it looks like this but in two tones of brown. Found Julia Roberts carrying this out of the hotel room in Pretty Woman when she was about to leave Richard Gere. </3

Anyway, what I've been lusting for, for the past month is this Ellie cross body bag by Bally. You know how when you're walking in airports and there are a lot of designer shops, all lined up? This one really caught my attention. I love how its indian-inspired. If you look closely, the zigzag trim extends to the back of the bag. Its really wonderful, especially in real life. 

15. Your sweet lovin'. LOL (See, I'm not materialistic!)

I just need to let this out.

I feel like I'm at the lowest point of my life. Today has been one of the most frustrating, saddening, infuriating, and possibly even depressing days I've had in the past 5 years. Everything's crashing around me. It's so difficult to hide it but I have to keep this fake smile plastered on my face 24/7 because people expect me to be happy. But with the way my life is going, there's nothing to smile about. I mean all I can do now is hope and pray for the best because I've done everything I could do. The past three months were amazing, but now I have to face the consequences. Right now, I'm really losing hope. I've been forcing myself to control my tears and emotions. 15 days left. I'm more terrified than anxious. I keep telling myself that nothing is final until the results have been released, but it feels like I'm doing this just to deny what I really think and feel is going on. Like some sort of way to make me feel better. But it's not. There are so many things left for me to do but I can't seem to concentrate. I'm stuck in a warp zone and I can't get out. I need to snap out of this. I know my parents will be disappointed. But what's worse is that I'm disappointed in myself for allowing this to happen. The worst feeling is coming from all this self-scrutiny and self-hatred. I can't stop myself. I've fallen into a pit and I'm allowing myself to wallow in self-inflicted misery.


I need a moment to convince myself I can't give up and this isn't the worst thing that could happen to me. I desperately need to do this for myself. I can't be a coward any longer.

A series of unfortunate events

“You’re too emotionally attached.” -- what the fuck do you expect me to be?

“I don’t like it when you ask. I want to be the one that asks you.” -- you have to be fucking kidding me.

“I really, really like her.” -- then what the fuck are you doing with me?

“I liked it more when we were just friends” -- then why the fuck did you join this mutual emotional agreement?

After a whirlwind of disastrous affairs with one boy after another, I’m taking a hiatus from looking for love. I’ll admit that I’m partly at fault with the consecutive catastrophes I’ve experienced but I could never get it right. Maybe I was too comfortable choosing whomever to get with just because I felt there was a slight chance of making that wrong person the right one. No matter how hard I try to keep myself from feeling anything, it just so happens that I’m unconsciously looking for it, wanting it. And I get almost everything and anything I want. Except that when it's there and I have it, everything goes downhill.

Friends have always told me to just wait and let it come to me. Regardless of my impatience, I'm never the type who waits. They say waiting is for the brave. I think it's more courageous to do something about it rather than sit back and watch your years pass you by. No, I'm not waiting. It's just that right now may be the appropriate time for a break from this and my losing streak.