Friday, November 4, 2011

A series of unfortunate events

“You’re too emotionally attached.” -- what the fuck do you expect me to be?

“I don’t like it when you ask. I want to be the one that asks you.” -- you have to be fucking kidding me.

“I really, really like her.” -- then what the fuck are you doing with me?

“I liked it more when we were just friends” -- then why the fuck did you join this mutual emotional agreement?

After a whirlwind of disastrous affairs with one boy after another, I’m taking a hiatus from looking for love. I’ll admit that I’m partly at fault with the consecutive catastrophes I’ve experienced but I could never get it right. Maybe I was too comfortable choosing whomever to get with just because I felt there was a slight chance of making that wrong person the right one. No matter how hard I try to keep myself from feeling anything, it just so happens that I’m unconsciously looking for it, wanting it. And I get almost everything and anything I want. Except that when it's there and I have it, everything goes downhill.

Friends have always told me to just wait and let it come to me. Regardless of my impatience, I'm never the type who waits. They say waiting is for the brave. I think it's more courageous to do something about it rather than sit back and watch your years pass you by. No, I'm not waiting. It's just that right now may be the appropriate time for a break from this and my losing streak.

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